Tetzaveh 5785: Fulfilling the Mitzvos Hayom Properly

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Shiurimim given in 5781 & 5772

• Part 1: Fulfilling the Mitzvos Hayom Properly
• Part 2: Getting a True Taste of Shabbos (5772)

Purim: Fulfilling the Mitzvos Hayom Properly (5781)

I can’t control myself. I love You Hashem! I do. The chessed, it’s not normal. I’m in the middle of my yearly collection for aniyim. This year, I thought we would be having a little cloudier time because of Covid, but Hashem says: don’t worry. You think I can’t be a collector, too? I always say: Hashem is my executive director. He never turns me down.

There’s No Such Thing as Short On Funds for Hashem

A fellow called me up today because he wants to become a partner. He wanted to know how short I am every year. I told him, “Do you ever listen to my shiurim?” He said, “Yes.” I explained to him, “Then that’s a very silly question. I’m never short. I’ve never been short in my life. When I lost every penny I owned through my friend, my wife said, ‘What’s going to be?’ I told her, ‘Hashem wants to show me that it’s not because I saved that money that I’m taken care of. Hashem is going to show me: I can take care of you without your silly money that you saved.” And kach havah. That’s what happened. There’s no such word as short. Hashem’s a partner with me in this project. We travel together. Moradig! הודו לה’ כי טוב. Hashem is an amazing fundraiser. He can do anything. He can pull all the strings. He knows all the jokes. He knows how to get money out of people.

I just read a funny story. A collector came to a gvir‘s house on Purim. The gvir had people around him. “We are not available to see you now. No one can talk to you at the moment,” the collector was told. The guy said, “I just want to say one word. Just one word.” “What do you mean?” “I mean one word. That’s all. If I say more than one word, you can throw me out.” “Okay, say a word.” “Gemara.” So the gvir said, “What?” He said, “Gemara.” The gvir said, “What does that mean?” He said, “It means gut morgen Reb Asher.” He said, “Cute.” “Can I say one more word?” “Okay, say another word.” “Gemara.”“What now?” “Give money, Reb Asher!” “Cute.” “Can I please have one more word?” The gvir says, “Ok, last time.” The guy said again, “Gemara.”  “What now?” “Give more, Reb Asher!”

Hashem sometimes puts into people’s minds how to jingle the money out of people’s pockets.

Are We Doing Hashem’s Ratzon or Our Own?

It says in sefarim that on Purim, when you’re ready to sit down to your Purim seudah, there should be a thought that goes through your mind. What is that thought? It should be a hirhur of teshuvah. You should pause for a moment and think: “Hashem Yisbarach, I truly want to come back to You, to follow Your ways, and be attached to You.” That’s what you should say. That’s what teshuvah means. Teshuvah means turning to Hashem and saying: “Hashem, I want to follow and live according to Your ratzon.” Most of our days, we live according to our own ratzon, not the ratzon of Hashem.

The first thing you do on Purim is: Do the ratzon of Hashem. Hashem wants us to want to hear the megillah. Many people don’t want to hear the megillah. They want the megillah to go real fast. That’s what they like. They like Express. They call it “Megillah Express.” That’s what they like. Some people like making noises during the megillah. But Hashem wants you to review, reiterate, study, and internalize the lessons of the Megillas Esther.

You should also give mishloach manos minimally,with the right intentions. The right intention is to bring about and increase ahavah v’achvah between two Jews. Giving to your fellow bachur, a donut with a little cup of soda or orange juice or some pieces of popcorn from a bag does nothing.

I remember the mishloach manos that somebody once sent me. I looked in the bag and there were some loose potato chips and loose popcorn. There was an apple and an orange. I tried to salvage those. They were all oily and plastered with pieces of popcorn and potato chips. I found the closest garbage and I said, “I’m going to be marbeh shalom and reius.” You send a rav a few candies with a little two ounces of Kool-Aid or apple juice that you would give your kindergarten kid to take to school for one of his or her snacks?! It’s not called משלוח מנות איש לרעהו. That’s mezalzel people. It’s mamash mezalzel. It’s gornisht. It’s better not to do it.

I had a very close friend who, many years ago, sent me one of those Purim cards. A donation has been given in honor of our friendship to Beis Who Knows Who orphanage somewhere in the middle of the desert of Eretz Yisrael, where there are no people. I always get these cards and I’m always wondering: Why do people send cards? I never saw cards in my family. One day, I got in the mail: Would you like to buy cards from this orphanage? I look and see how much the cards cost. The cards in those days cost ten cents apiece. I realized that my good friend spent all of ten cents to give me that card. So I wrote him a whole letter. I said: “I received your correspondence in the mail, and it really brought out a lot of thought because I started to kler shaylos what kind of din is this? Is this משלוח מנות איש לרעהו, to go spend ten cents on a card and give it to your friend? I thought maybe it’s matanos l’evyonim but you didn’t give the ten cents to me. You gave ten cents to this thing in the desert. Then I thought, maybe it’s to bring achdus. Then I came to the conclusion that you might really not like me, and you decided to teach me a lesson this Purim.” I told the guy: “What are you doing? It’s not even a leitzanus. We’re good friends. We’re yedidim. This is what you send a yedid?! If youcan’t afford it, tell me. I’m mochel you. But you’re going to give me one of these little Kool-Aids next? You go to the store and you buy ten little juice boxes for a dollar and you go and give it to your rav and you give it to some rosh yeshivah? The rabbi of the shul?”

You have to understand that first we have to do the ratzon of Hashem. Do the ratzon of Hashem properly. One mishloach manos. Then do matanos l’evyonim and do it with some thought, with some heart. Then you sit down to the seudas Purim. As we said, the sefarim say you should have a hirhur of teshuvah. Hashem, I want to do Your will. I want to celebrate Your will.

The seudas Purim is called a mishteh hayayin. Now, there are many people who don’t like wine. They don’t enjoy wine. So they skip that part of the mishteh hayayin. And there are people who like to party and they want to drink as much wine as possible. Either way they’re not doing the mitzvah. My Zeida always used to say that you should have a full revi’is unless you’re sick. And that you should become happy because that’s the mitzvas hayom: to become happy through a mishteh of yayin. Just because you don’t have a mishteh of yayin the rest of the year doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a mishteh of yayin on Purim.

A Yeridah Or An Opportunity for V’Nahafoch Hu?

Now, there are two major events that took place in the megillah. The first major event is how this little toad, this little lowlife – a nobody, a horse guy, someone on such a low level that the only job he could get in his life was taking care of horses – managed to climb slowly but surely to the top. The details of this climb were shocking. It’s almost like the story of Hitler yimach shemo vezichro. If you ever read about Hitler, he was a lo yutzlach painter. He was a nobody. He was a gornisht. He was an ill-tempered individual, who decided to climb to the pinnacle and Hashem gave him that siyata d’shmaya, and he climbed it.

Do you know when Haman was put into that high position? At a mishteh hayayin. They were drinking. He and Achashveirosh were having a party and Haman turned to him and said, after he made sure to drink enough wine, “What do you think about me buying off the Jews.” The craziest thing in the world! It made no sense. And he accepted it. The shikker gave him a drink and got the king’s ring. This ring had a seal on it, and a royal law held that whatever was stamped with it could not be rescinded. And to think they made a decree, an unheard-of decree, which was all induced under the influence of wine. Not stam. He pashut wrote a decree against gantz Klal Yisrael להשמיד ולהרוג ולאבד את כל היהודים across the board. ושללם לבוז.

Subsequently another moradig event arises, another mishteh hayayin. Esther Hamalkah invites Haman and Achashveirosh, hoping to figure out some way to get Haman killed. And Achashveirosh turns against his best friend. Against his best friend! The one whom he made the most powerful man in the universe. He was megadel him. And at this mishteh hayayin what happens?

Yayin has to be drunk in the right way. Yayin could wreak destruction and havoc on the world and yayin could be used for good, too. To be used to destroy Haman – that was the greatest thing. And within a few days, Haman and all his ten sons were hanging on this huge gallows.

Reversing Our Challenges

A person has to know that there are two plans in his life. For every one of us, there’s always a plan that contains a challenge. Sometimes you get the challenge earlier in your life. Sometimes you get the challenge later in life. A person has a challenge from different areas of his life and it looks like his enemies are building up and building up, and it looks like the guy is about to have his ultimate downfall.

Baruch Hashem I speak to many people. A lot of times people call me when they’re watching their enemies overwhelm them, overcome them. I say to them, “Do you know why Hashem brought this episode to you?” Everything is from Hashem. There’s nothing that comes to a person that’s not from Hashem. And it looks like it wants to devour you. It looks like it wants to eat you up. Whether it’s a sickness or a shalom bayis issue with your wife or children. Whether it’s your parnasah. It looks like the world is closing in around you. And it looks like it’s the end, there’s no hope. You know what your job in life is when you see this? To turn it around and make it ונהפוך הוא.

The great wonder of Purim was that we faced the biggest calamity that the Jewish nation has ever faced in our history. We faced the Shoah of Shoahs. There was no Argentina to run to. There was no Algeria to run to. Achashveirosh was the melech over the whole world and in one day, all the Jews were going to be destroyed. My grandfather used to always bemoan that in the time of Hitler, when that rasha put out his great chalom, his great plan for the Jews was that he was going to make this world Judenrein; he said it very clearly and wrote it in his Mein Kampf, and believed in the “inner truth” of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and other shtusim. It was clear what his plan was. But the leaders of the pre-WWII generation, for whatever reason, could not unite and follow the script of what transpired on Purim.

I was just reading what someone from the Mirrer yeshivah wrote about the time he spent in Shanghai during WWII. He used to walk past the Japanese Embassy, where they would play the speeches of Hitler out loud in German. Some of the bachurim, who understood German, would sit there and listen. “He wants to destroy the world! Destroy every Jew in every last corner of the world,” they related to each other, in shock. They came to Rav Chatzkel, who was the mashgiach then, and they said, “Rebbi, do you hear what this guy is saying?!” They told him what they heard. “Yeah, yeah. That’s his plan,” Rav Chatzkel replied. “That’s the plan. You have to know that’s his plan. But you know what our plan has to be? To turn it around, ונהפוך הוא. If you’re zocheh, it can all be turned around.” The miracle of Purim was that we were zocheh to turn around the greatest calamity facing our nation into the greatest source of joy. It became part and parcel of Jewish history, the essence of a Jew. The downs of a person’s life is just the beginning of the trip to turn it around and make it ונהפוך הוא.

Many people let go and give up when they face these downs. They only see Plan A. They see the beginning and they get devoured. They get eaten up. They get depressed.

All of Us Can Reverse the Challenge

I was speaking to a man who told me the worst year in his life was this past year. It was the worst year in his life. I said, “Why?” He said, “When Covid came, I became so gripped with fear, so full of anxiety and depression that I couldn’t move. I was paralyzed. I thought I was going to lose my mind.” “Did you get Covid?” “No, no.” “Were you affected?” “I wasn’t affected. My family wasn’t affected. But my mind became so overwhelmed.” I said, “So what did you do?” “I went nuts. And then I thought that I’d better start doing some teshuvah. I’ve made serious mistakes in my life,” he said. “I transgressed some very serious aveiros.” He said, “Now I decided to do teshuvah and I did teshuvah but now I know any day Hashem is going to kill me. I have no safek about it.” I told him, “My friend, do you know why you called me?” He said, “Yes, because I was ready to go be committed (to a mental institution), and the rabbi told me, ‘You don’t need to be committed. Just call Rabbi Brog. He’ll talk to you.’” And this guy called me. I said, “My friend, Covid was the best year and the best experience of your entire life.” I said, “The worst year of your life was the year that you sinned awfully. The awful sins that you did were in the worst year of your life. Covid motivated you to do teshuvah from those terrible sins.” He said, “I can’t do teshuvah. I can’t do teshuvah anymore. I know I’m toasted. I’m gone.” I said, “That’s not true. Do you know you have to believe in teshuvah? Do you know Hashem loves you? Do you know the gemara talks about people who did terrible, terrible, aveiros and they did teshuvah, and Hashem accepted it?” Then I spoke to the guy for maybe ten minutes and was mechazek him. The guy told me those were the best ten minutes of his entire year. I told him to call me back. He called back again today. I gave him another ‘shot in the arm.’ He said, “Rabbi, you know what I feel like? I’m hoping my mind is a tape recorder, and I can take these words into my mind and remember them and replay them. I feel like maybe there’s hope.” I said, “Of course there’s hope! Of course there’s hope. You did teshuvah. It’s not a bad year. It’s a great year.”

Hashem always has two plans in a person’s life. Now, if it’s time for you to leave this world, it’s only one plan. That’s the plan called the exit strategy. I explained to many people who had Covid. People call me all the time. “My mother is 97 years old or 103,” or “My aunt is this deaf, dumb and blind. What kabalah could she do?” I said, “What kabalah should she do? What can I tell you? Everybody has to go sometime.” You know what I mean? But if somebody is younger, there’s reason to believe that this is Plan A, and there’s still Plan B. There are really two plans. That’s what you learn from the megillah. There are always two plans. They turned away that first plan very quickly. People don’t realize how quick the turnaround was. Everybody is watching Haman rise up and up and up. He’s a tzorer haYehudim. The guy hates Jews, and he says it clearly. Not like these lying goyim: “Oh, I have nothing against the Jews! I just hate every Israeli – they should get moved into the sea and drown. But I’ve got nothing against Jews.”

This is all Plan A, and you’ve got to turn Plan A into Plan B. You have to know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu makes everything happen, and can turn anything around. I feel bad for people who go through Plan A and never manage to turn it around and make it Plan B. They never see the end of the story.

My grandfather (Rav Avigdor Miller) said, “Could you imagine what would have been, had the gedolim gotten together at the time of the Holocaust and said: kinderlach, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve been here before. We’ve been right here before, but in a much stronger way. A decree, an open decree that was not shayach to change. If they would have said: ‘Let’s fast for three days. Everybody fast for three days and do teshuvah.’” Maybe, just maybe, Hitler yimach shemo vezichro would have choked on his dog’s bone. Maybe his dog would have gone wild and decided Hitler looks like a bone and would have chewed him up. Maybe there would have been a push against him and he would have been overthrown. I read about the stories. They had this whole plan, this great plan of how to mamash blow up the guy at a meeting, but it backfired. I’m thinking the guy has siyata deshmaya like crazy. That was Hashem. גדל המלך את המן. Hashem was megadel (elevated) him, step by step. They wanted to destroy him 25 times. They wanted to kick him out of the country a number of times and every time he came back again and again. Eventually, he built his עץ גבוה חמישים אמה,and no oneever turned around and saw the Plan B. We didn’t see Plan B because we didn’t have the seichel or the hatzlachah or have the zechus to be zocheh to Plan B.

Change Darkness to Light on Purim and Beyond

When you celebrate Purim, have a thought of teshuvah at the Purim mishteh. Say, “Hashem, I’m celebrating Plan B! I’m celebrating the turn-around. I’m celebrating the darkness turning into a bright day. Hashem, throughout my life, please allow me to be zocheh to turn around every bit of darkness into light.” You could do that. I don’t care how dark it is. You can turn darkness into light.” I have seen many people take the steps slowly but surely, and turn their lives around. People experience terrible episodes. So many things can go wrong in their lives, and at times, they do go wrong. It’s shreklach and they lose themselves. I don’t blame them. They get scared and they don’t know what to think. They don’t know where to go. If you are in that situation, Tell Hashem, “Help me be a vehicle to bring out kavod shamayim.” When a Jew is in darkness, that’s not a kavod for Hashem, but when a Jew comes out of the darkness into light, that is such kavod shamayim. And you have to daven for that. Whatever you acquire on Purim is not a short-term kinyan. Oh, no! You’re acquiring it for the rest of the year! Like the Rema ends off at the end of Hilchos Purim וטוב לב משתה תמיד, a gantz yur Purim.^[i]

The guy who goes through Purim and doesn’t take anything with him is like the guy who visits a bank that’s having a gold nugget giveaway. He’s so excited, and he gets all dressed up and puts a big pin on his lapel. “I’m headed for the bank. I’m one of the people who was invited to get the gold nugget!” And he goes there and is so excited about the big day. Before he gets a chance to collect his nugget there’s a line. He says, “I’ll wait. I’m not going to push in line. I’m not a pushy type of guy. I’m going to wait.” The clock keeps moving. All of a sudden, “ding a ling.” What’s that? The gold nugget giveaway is over. It’s over. People missed that gold nugget. They come home with nothing.

Many people come home from Purim with nothing. That’s a disaster. But if you come home from Purim full of hope, “Hashem I know Your ways. I know Your shtick to try to get me to turn away and You’re going to show me ונהפוך הוא. I’m going to strengthen my emunah. I’m going to strengthen my bitachon in You. Help me become stronger in my awareness of You in my life, that You’re doing every single thing. I’m going to be zocheh to children. I’m going to be zocheh to good children. I’m going to be zocheh to parnasah. I’m going to be zocheh to shalom bayis. I’m going to be zocheh to ליהודים היתה אורה ושמחה. I’m goingto have tremendous joy from Yiddishkeit.” That’s what you want to have, tremendous joy. If you get that, then you had a good Purim. I wish you all today a freilechen Purim and what I mean is you should have a  freilechen Purim that you can take with you the rest of the year. You’re going to carry it with you. It’s going to be with you tamid, constantly. You should have lives full of simchah. You should know no sadness. A freilechen Purim!

Getting a True Taste of Shabbos (5772)

The Difference Between Shabbos Night and Shabbos Day

In the past, we have discussed a Gr”a  (Biurei HaGr”a on Bava Kama 32b) who asked: What is the meaning of the Chazal that tells us that כנסת ישראל is בן זוגך, that Klal Yisrael is the partner of Shabbos.^[ii] Chazal tell us that Adam Harishon was supposed to be the בן זוג of Shabbos, but after the chet of Adam Harishon, Klal Yisrael became the בן זוג of Shabbos. And Klal Yisrael are the ones that are going to bring the world to its tachlis of מעשה שמים וארץ al yedei the Shabbos. And as we saw, the Ramchal writes that Shabbos is a day of a קורבה גדולה אליו יתברך and a דביקות גדול בו (great closeness to Hashem).^[iii]

Today, we are going to explain what the nature of this קורבה גדולה and this דביקות גדול is that exists on Shabbos.

The Tefillos Prompt Us To Appreciate Shabbos

We find that the Anshei Knesses Hagedolah, who were mesader the tefillos Shabbos changed the brachos of leil Shabbos from yom haShabbos and for Minchah on Shabbos. It’s the only time when you have a different nusach for Shacharis, a different one Minchah, and a different one Maariv. Generally, during the week, they’re all the same: Minchah, Shacharis and Maariv. The Rishonim tell us that the change in nusach is supposed to motivate us to think and understand there is something different over here. What is it? It is a gilui in the taam of Shabbos, a revelation of the special aspects, an authentic flavor of Shabbos. The Rishonim say that when you are zocheh to appreciate the taam of Shabbos by shtelling on this nekudah, you are going to be zocheh l’chaim (feeling of being alive) and you are going to know through this the two great concepts: דעת אמיתית – true knowledge, and אחדות שמו – the oneness of His Name.

Friday Night Is The Kiddushin

So we are going to share with you from R’ Avraham ben HaGr”a who brings down the following thing.^[iv] He says Friday night corresponds to Shabbos Bereishis – the first Shabbos. The first Shabbos, he says, corresponds to kedushin. It says ויקדש אותו. Vos meint ויקדש אותו? Mesechta Kiddushin tells us what being mekadesh means. When a man says to a lady הרי את מקודשת לי, what is he doing? He is אסר לה אכולי עלמא כהקדש. Tosfos told us that vos shteit here is הרי את מקודשת לעולם – בשבילי.  So the son of the Gr”a says, when it says in the Torah ויקדש אותו, it means the same thing – Hakadosh Baruch Hu was אסר לה אכולי עלמא; Hashem assered מלאכה, forbidden work, onShabbos on the Jew. For what purpose? He says ‘כי אם לעבוד את ה. Do you know vos shteit dah? That Hakadosh Baruch Hu said הרי את מקודשת – you, Shabbos, are אסור אכולי עלמא, so that you may focus on Me – לי. That means, בשבילי – in order, so that on Shabbos, people are ’עובד את ה. That’s the concept of the tefillos and the avodah of leil Shabbos – איסור מלאכה, that is the קידושין. But קידושין is only the techilas hakinyan (the beginning of the acquisition).

Then you have Shabbos morning.

Shabbos Day Is The Nisuin

The gemara says everybody agrees that בשבת נתנה תורה, the Torah was given on Shabbos. And that’s because Shabbos has a relationship with the Torah. And therefore, on Shabbos morning, we say: ישמח משה במתנת חלקו כי עבד נאמן קראת לו כליל תפארת בראשו נתת בעמדו לפניך על הר סיני – “Moshe rejoiced in the gift of his portion, for trusted servant You called him. A crown of glory You placed on his head, as he stood before You on Har Sinai” – which is the מתן תורה, which He put on his head like a crown. We have to realize that Shabbos morning is the second stage of closeness to Hashem. Hakadosh Baruch Hu put Har Sinai over us like a chuppah. The Tashbatz says that we learn all the minhagei hachuppah from Har Sinai, from the way Hakadosh Baruch Hu conducted Himself with us. And therefore, you have to know that on Shabbos morning, the avodah is a greater hiskarvus. You become closer to Hashem. The נתינת התורה represents the וארשתיך לי לעולם. He says matan Torah represents the chelek of the nisuin. Hakadosh Baruch Hu made an eirusin on us, and He made a nisuin on us. B’shaas matan Torah – was the nisuin.

Shabbos At Minchah Is Shabbos l’Asid Lavo

And then there’s the main goal, the ultimate Shabbos, that’s called the Shabbos of l’asid lavo, that corresponds to the passuk of ביום ההוא יהיה ה’ אחד ושמו אחד, and that is the Shabbos of Minchah. That’s when it is going to be ה’ אלוקינו, Hashem will be echad. אברהם יגל יצחק ירנן – מנוחה שלמה, that’s when you’re going to feel the אחדות שמו – the oneness of His Name if you reached the first two stages.

Three Stages To A Marriage

So that means as follows:When the Ramchal tells us (ibid) that Shabbos is a קורבה גדולה and a דביקות גדול, and Chazal tell us that Shabbos represents a zivug. It’s a hisdabkus, it’s compared to a relationship between the man and the woman. The Shabbos is a marriage. So you have to know, these are the three steps that are brought out on Shabbos. A Yid has to know that Klal Yisrael and  every ben Yisrael, relates to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in different stages: There is the stage of kiddushin, when you are preparing yourself (i.e. Shabbos night). Then, there is the kabalas haTorah, that’s the הביאני המלך אל בית היין, Hakadosh Baruch Hu brought us into the cheder hayichud (i.e. Shabbos morning). And then you have the Shabbos of l’asid lavo (i.e. Shabbos Mincha).  And you have to know the three seudos of Shabbos also represent this.

Night and Day – The Two Parts of Shabbos

But you have to know it’s not pshat that Shabbos is divided into thirds. You might think you could look at it as though there are three separate Shabbasos, the three parts to the Shabbos, that there is a first shlish, second shlish, and a third shlish. As if there are three ashmoros to the Shabbos.  It is not like that. It’s divided into two parts. There are two ashmoros to Shabbos – there’s the leil haShabbos, and there is the yom haShabbos.

I once showed you the Mechilta (Parshas Ki Sisa 31:14).^[v] The Mechilta asks: how do we know that you’re chayev missah for being mechalel leil Shabbos, Friday night? Maybe you’re only chayev missah for being mechalel the yom haShabbos, as it says כל העושה מלאכה ביום השבת מות יומת? So the Mechilta answers because the passuk says: מחלליה מות יומת, that is marbeh,it includes even the lighter part of the Shabbos, i.e. Friday night. Now, what is the pshat in this Mechilta? So we’ve explained that there are two parts to the Shabbos: There is the nekeivah part of a Shabbos, the shomer part of a Shabbos; and there is the zachor part of the Shabbos, which is the male part of the Shabbos. Friday night is the nekeivah part of the Shabbos. Shabbos morning is the zachor part of the Shabbos.

Now, what does that mean – the nekeivah part of Shabbos, and the zachor part? So you have to know a yesod, that a zachor and nekeivah represent a concept. The whole world and everything in the world is based on the concept of zachor and nekeivah. What does that mean? The zachor represents any koach that is mashpia (giving the influence) on something else. The nekeivah represents a koach of mushpah, of being mekabel hashpaah (receiving the influence) from somewhere else. You have the sun and moon, l’mashal. The sun is the mashpia, the zachor, and you have the levanah is the mushpah, it’s mekabel it receives and reflects the light of the sun. Friday night, the bechinah of Shabbos is, it’s mekabel from us. That’s why we find in the tefillos, that we only refer to Friday night as “kallah.” Once Friday night is gone, there’s no mention of kallah anymore. What happened to the concept of kallah? The teretz is, on Friday night, Shabbos is a kallah because that’s when Shabbos is mekabel the hashpaah from us. And that’s why the Mechilta had a havah mineh that maybe you’re only chayev for being mechalel Shabbos ba’yom, because ba’yom, the Shabbos is being mashpia from it’s kochos to us. So when ba’yom, whenShabbos is being mashpia its kochos to us, you’re chayav misah for being mechalel that part of Shabbos. Because that’s a groise Shabbos! But at leilah, maybe not. קמ’’ל – it comes to teach us that even for Friday night, you will be chayev, because it also says by Friday night: מחלליה, so it’s also subject to the punishment of מות יומת.

Now, there is another pasuk that says. את שבתותי תשמרו (Vayikra 19:3). The Ohr Hachaim in this parshah brings down from the Zohar, that the term שבתותי – ירמוז ללילה ויום. It says שבתותי, my Shabbosos. Why is Shabbos called, ‘My Shabbosos,’ plural? It’s because on every Shabbos, there is a leil Shabbos and there’s a yom haShabbos. And he says, דא – this is, שבתא – Shabbos, the yom haShabbos, ומעלי שבתא. He says, כי לילה – because the night was niskadeish like the yom. So why is it separate? Why isn’t it one unit? He says, ולצד שבחינת קדושת לילה אינו שווה לקדושת היום – because the kedushas haleilah is not shaveh to the kedushas hayom. כי הלילה, because Shabbos night, he says, is an aspect of the אור המתייחס אליו כלה, is like a kallah. That’s called שמור.  And the day is an aspect of a higher ohr. That is the bechina of a chassan. It’s the mashpia.^[vi]

Influencing and Being Influenced

We have to know that a relationship is a two-way street. There are two people in a relationship. When one person relates to the other and the other doesn’t relate back, that’s not a relationship. We have to know that on Friday night, we need to relate to Shabbos, as a kallah. You should know, by the way, that’s also the reason why most Yidden relate more to Friday night than they do to Shabbos ba’yom, because Friday night is a lesser kedushah,and therefore people have more shaychus to it.

Shabbos ba’yom has a higher kedushah. Those people who were not mashpia to the Shabbos Friday night, as befits Shabbos – they miss out on the opportunity. When you’re mashpia to the Shabbos-by-night, the kallah, do you know what happens? You become mekudash. That’s called kiddushin to the Shabbos. That’s how Klal Yisrael becomes a בן זוג of Shabbos, the hisdabkus is the kiddushin that takes place b’laylah, on Shabbos night.
 

We are mekadesh the Shabbos – לעשות את השבת. We now relate to the Shabbos, we now become joined with Shabbos. Once we become bonded to the Shabbos-of-Friday-night, we become mekudashim. By us being mekadesh,we become mekudashim. That enables me to go into chassan-mode on Shabbos morning. And Shabbos can then be mashpia on us, on those keilim that we prepared. But if a person didn’t prepare, when Shabbos morning comes, he feels lacking. He is ready to go to sleep, sleep longer and longer and longer, and it doesn’t have any taam, he is not to’em the taam of the chaim of Shabbos, so it’s a rachmanus, a tragedy –  he’s missing out!

A person has to understand that Friday night is an investment in the Shabbos. And a kiddushin,you prepare for; you don’t come to a wedding unprepared. That’s why there’s a din, you sit beforehand and you wait, you are meyachel for the Shabbos, you’re mekabel the Shabbos. And then the Shabbos has what to give you.  And then on Shabbos morning, if a person sits and he opens up a gemara, he opens up Torah – Shabbos was nitnah l’limud haTorah, hisaskus baTorah – could you imagine the hashpaah that a person could get from Shabbos?! To get that shemetz of matan Torah, that spark of nesinas haTorah that Hakadosh Baruch Hu was mamtzi Torah to Klal Yisrael, that spark that Hakadosh Baruch Hu was melamed the Torah l’Yisrael?! You could get a te’eimas hachaim of the ישמח משה במתנת חלקו, you could connect to the Toras Moshe and it gives you hashpaah. 

The Litmus Test: Shabbos Minchah

And then you come to Shabbos Minchah time, and it’s rava d’rava – a great eis ratzon.  If a person wants to know where he is holding in his connection to Shabbos, he should see what he feels at Minchah time. Are you one of those people who, when it’s Mincha time, are looking at your clock and saying, “Oh, when is this thing going to be over?” Or, on Shabbos afternoon, you imagine it’s such a long afternoon, and you say, “How am I going to spend it? This is too long.” You are going to sleep, try to be shomer Shabbos from under the covers and watch Shabbos slip by. And you open your eyes and hope it’s mamash right before Minchah. Are you one of these people? And sometimes you even hope it’s after Minchah already. And then you’re already planning for Motzei Shabbos. So that person, nebach, has no shaychus to Shabbos!

So therefore, let us be mechazek ourselves, and tonight, let us do the avodah of thinking about Shabbos. That’s tonight. Tonight is the kedushah, you’re mekadesh the Shabbos. Mekadesh the Shabbos means, acknowledge what the tachlis of Shabbos is. That’s what kiddushin is. Kiddushin is you are מזמין her, you invite her in and you say to her: “You’re אסר לה אכולי עלמא בשבילי, I’m putting you aside only for me.”

Put Shabbos aside for yourself. Tonight, that’s the avodah of Shabbos – make Shabbos separate. Understand that you’re eating a seudas Shabbos – not because you like good food but because tonight’s Shabbos – that’s part of your seudas kidushin. That’s your seudas Shabbos. You’ll speak inyanei Shabbos at the seudah, not divrei chol. It’ll be ke’eelu kol malachtechah asuyeh. You don’t hear a chassan talking about devarim chitzoniyim by his chassunah. The same thing should apply over here, at your Shabbos meal.  And then, when you wake up in the morning and you begin your day with limud haTorah and you think: “Hakadosh Baruch Hu, this is the nisuin. Let me feel it, let me be zocheh to a little bit of that aspect of ישמח משה.”

When a person feels that te’eemah,and he feels that simchah, it’s אין שמחה כשמחת התורה.  And then, a person takes his time and he learns ba’yom. He will take a little nap. Yes, it’sokay to take a short nap, so that you come back and you learn b’retzifus, so by the time Shabbos is over, he will be zocheh to a te’emah of rava d’rava. Have a great Shabbos!

^[i] אין אומרים תחנה בי”ד וט”ו שבאדר ראשון ודין תענית והספד בהן. ובו סעיף אחד. יום י”ד וט”ו שבאדר ראשון אין נופלין על פניהם ואין אומרים מזמור יענך ה’ ביום צרה ואסורים בהספד ותענית אבל שאר דברים אין נוהגים בהם וי”א דאף בהספד ותענית מותרים: [הגה: והמנהג כסברא ראשונה. י”א שחייב להרבות במשתה ושמחה בי”ד שבאדר ראשון (טור בשם הרי”ף) ואין נוהגין כן מ”מ ירבה קצת בסעודה כדי לצאת ידי המחמירים (הג”מ בשם סמ”ק) וטוב לב משתה תמיד] (ש”ע, א”ח תרצ״ז:א׳)

^[ii] בואו ונצא לקראת כלה כו’ בואי כלה כו’. הענין של כלה ידוע, כמ”ש לכל נתת בן זוג, כי יום א’ וד’ נברא בם אור, ויום ב’ וה’ מים, ויום ג’ ו’ ארץ, רק שבת לבד אין לה בן זוג, רק ישראל, לכן הולכין לקראת כלה. וז”ם של ג’ תפלות, קדושין [ערבית, אתה קדשת], וחופה כליל [שחרית כליל תפארת, והוא בסד הבינה שהיא החופה שממנה יוצא החתן, כמ”ש בעטרה שעטרה לו אמו], שהיא הכלילה שאז זמן שמחתו של חתן, וכמ”ש כחתן יוצא מחפתו, והג’ ייחוד [במנחה אתה אחד, נגד ת”ת הנקרא אחד]. קדושין של לוים [שקדושה מסט’ דשמאלא], חופה של כהנים, שהוא ברזא דשמחה של כהנים [כמ”ש בזוהר ויחי רכט: שמחה בצפרא שהוא דרגא דחסד, דרגא דכהנים. ורננא ברמשא דרגא דלויים, שירה], ויחוד של ישראל [לכן סעודת שחרית נגד אברהם, חסד. סעודת הלילה נגד יצחק, גבורה דלויים. וסעודה ג’ נגד יעקב, ת”ת], כמ”ש שמע ישראל ה”א ה’ אחד. והן נגד ג’ שבתות, שבת בראשית ושבת מ”ת ושבת לע”ל.

^[iii] עונג שבת וכבודו: ומלבד מה שנאסר שלא לפגום בכבוד הקדש הנשפע ביום זה כמ״ש עוד נצטוינו לכבוד הקדושה הזאת הנשפעת והוא כלל עונג השבת וכבודו בבואו ובצאתו בקידוש ובהבדלה ושאר כל פרטיו כלם ענינים נוסדים בכללם על היסוד הזה שהוא לשמור את עצמנו בערך הראוי לקדושה הנשפעת לנו ולחבב המעלה הזאת וליקרה לכבוד ענינה שהוא קורבה גדולה אליו ית׳‎ ודביקות גדול בו ולכבוד נותנה ית׳‎ שנתן לנו מתנה גדולה כזו. ופרטי הענינים מכוונים אל פרטי הקדושה הזאת ובחינותיה דרכיה ותולדותיה כפי מה שהם באמת (דרך ה’, חלק רביעי, בעבודה הזמניית)

^[iv] שבת בראשית נגד קידושין, שנאמר ויקדש אותו לאסור על כל עלמא במלאכה כי אם לעבוד את השם. שבת מתן תורה נגד תפלת שחרית ישמח משה במתנת חלקו, כליל תפארת שהוא מתן תורה. [חופה כלילה גר”א שם]. שבת שלעתיד לבא נגד יחוד שנאמר ביום ההוא יהיה השם אחד ושמו אחד” (פירוש לבאורי הגר”א ב”ק ל”ב)

^[v] מחלליה מות יומת. למה נאמר לפי שהוא אומר (פ’ ט”ו) כל העושה מלאכה ביום השבת מות יומת עונש שמענו אזהרה לא שמענו ת”ל (כ’ י’) ויום השביעי שבת לה’ אלהיך לא תעשה כל מלאכה אין לי אלא עונש ואזהרה למלאכת יום עונש ואזהרה למלאכת לילה מניין ת”ל מחלליה מות יומת עונש שמענו אזהרה לא שמענו ת”ל ויום השביעי שבת לה’ שאין ת”ל שבת אלא להביא את הלילה לאזהרה דברי ר’ אחי בר’ יאשיה, וכו’.

^[vi] עוד יתפרש כל הכתוב בדרך רמז בהעיר עוד למה אמר שבתותי לשון רבים ולא לשון יחיד כדרך הרגיל בכל התורה. ורז”ל אמרו (שבת סט:) שבא ליתן שמירה אחת לשבתות הרבה, והכוונה בזה שאם עשה מלאכות הרבה בשבתות הרבה בהעלם שבת אינו חייב אלא חטאת אחת. ונראה על דרך מה שאמרו בספר הזוהר (כ”א ה:) כי שבתותי ירמוז ללילה וליום, וזה לשונו דא שבתא ומעלי שבתא כי לילה כיום יתקדש, ולצד שבחינת לילה אינו שוה לקדושת יום כי הלילה הוא בחינת אור המתיחס אליו כלה והוא בחינת שמור, והיום הוא בחינת אור עליון המתיחס אליו בחינת חתן המשפיע באור הלילה כידוע ליודעי חן ולזה יתיחס אליו זכור, ולזה אמר בזוהר (ח”ב פ”ח) כי סעודת לילה היא סעודת חקל תפוחין קדישין וסעודת יום היא סעודא עתיקא קדישא אב הרחמים, ולזה יקרא קידוש היום בלשון חז”ל (פסחים קו.) קידושא רבא. ושמעתי גם ראיתי כתוב (בסוף שו”ע האריז”ל) מעשה שבימי ראב”ע עמד טועה אחד וכתב בראיות כי יום שבת יקדים בו היום ואחר כך הלילה ונתגלה הדבר להרב על ידי נס וסתר מועצותיו וכו’ דרשו מעל ספרו (אגרת שבת), וכנגד דעת טועה זו דבר הכתוב ואמר איש אמו ואביו תיראו הקדים אם לאב והשוה למצוה זו מצות השבת ואמר ואת שבתותי שהם לילה ויום וכו’ לומר שגם בהם יקדים בחינת האם שהיא לילה לבחינת האב שהוא היום, שכסדר הורים כן סדר שבתות מעלי שבתא ושבתא ולא כדעת הטועים הנזכרת (אור החיים על ויקרא י״ט:ג׳)